ST. LOUIS -- Whenever Gary Woodland feels his pulse racing on the golf course, he puts his right hand on his heart.
"I put my hand on my heart just to remind myself that I'm alive, and if I can feel my heartbeat, I know I'm breathing," Woodland said. "And I've done that this year just to try to slow my heart down, tell myself I'm safe and I'll be all right."
It wasn't long ago that Woodland feared he wouldn't live much longer.
In September 2023, surgeons removed a chunk of Woodland's skull to excise a benign lesion from the area of his brain that controls fear and anxiety.
In March, Woodland revealed in an interview with the Golf Channel that he was still suffering from post-traumatic stress and hypervigilance from the procedure. He is startled by scorers walking behind him and drones flying above.
That's why what Woodland has achieved this season, picking up his fifth PGA Tour victory in the Texas Children's Houston Open in March and putting himself in position to qualify for next week's Tour Championship, is so remarkable.
Woodland, 42, started this week's BMW Championship, the second leg of the FedEx Cup playoffs, at No. 31 in the seasonlong points standings. The top 30 golfers after Sunday's final round will advance to the Tour Championship, where a $40 million purse will be on the line.
After carding a 6-under 64 to grab a share of the first-round lead at Bellerive Country Club on Thursday, Woodland was projected to move up to 14th in the FedEx Cup standings.
It would be the first time Woodland qualified for the Tour Championship at East Lake Golf Club in Atlanta since 2019, when he won the U.S. Open.
"I've been out here 18 years, that's a goal when you start it up every year is to get to East Lake," Woodland said. "It shows the consistency you've had throughout the year. But for me, from where I've come from and where I've been, that would be a big accomplishment."
Woodland has gained plenty of perspective over the past two years. He wrote goodbye letters to his wife, Gabby, and three young children in case he didn't make it out of surgery.
"I know I'm fighting for a lot more than playing golf," Woodland said. "I'm hopefully having a positive impact on a lot of people's lives just showing up and fighting, knowing that I'm struggling every day."
Woodland said going public with his PTS has helped him tremendously.
"I still battle the same things now that I was battling then, but I feel the love and support," Woodland said. "I don't feel like I'm hiding anything. I have more energy, and that's the big deal. I was wasting energy hiding that and I'm not wasting the energy anymore. So, I'm still battling it, but I'm able to fight it a little better."
At last week's FedEx St. Jude Championship, an 11-year-old boy from New Zealand, who has an inoperable brain tumor, followed Woodland at TPC Southwind in Memphis, Tennessee.
"Hopefully, I'm having a bigger impact than just showing up and showing that I can still compete and play out here and live my dreams," Woodland said. "That's the big deal is [that] I'm struggling and I'm still living my dreams. I hope people see that and try to do the same thing."
If Woodland plays well over the final 54 holes at Bellerive Country Club, his dream will continue in the Tour Championship.
On Thursday, he carded five birdies and holed out for an eagle from 102 yards on the par-4 11th. He hit 17 of 18 greens in regulation and gained 4.7 strokes on approach, tops in the 50-man field.
"Obviously, seeing Gary play good golf doesn't surprise anyone," Ludvig Åberg said. "But he's a true inspiration to all of us [with] what he's done and the way he's doing it. He's probably the No. 1 nicest guy on the tour, and any time he has success, I'll be a big cheerleader for that."