To die in the church you created is a beautiful thing. Under the roof of your own guiding principles, a rare final bliss as the light fades. Comfort in the spirituality you promoted, and the faith you nurtured in others.
Ben Stokes, however, decided to burn his church to the ground. The man who kept Ashes series alive, brought World Cups back from the brink and, four years ago, resuscitated English Test cricket decided that his final act was to bring it all down in a blaze. It was utterly needless, entirely self-centred ... and mind-meltingly stunning from a renegade allrounder who built his legacy out of astounding displays, but none quite like this.
A man who saved his miracles for Sundays used his last Sunday to wreak havoc. Day four of this third and decisive New Zealand Test became a mix of flames and frenzy, as confirmation that Stokes had called time on his Test career was accompanied by the man himself seeking to write his own eulogy. The events of this fourth afternoon might come to be seen as his most performative "f*** you" to the establishment, although more explicit versions could be in the offing once this Test is over.
What looked to be Stokes embarking on another mammoth effort with the ball in New Zealand's second innings - a ridiculous 11-over stint - conveniently coincided with the 3.25pm announcement from the ECB confirming his retirement after Monday's final day. Naturally, Stokes took a wicket immediately after that came through.
The next act was the most ludicrous. Stokes charged off to open the batting after New Zealand had set England 373, on the very ground where his captaincy movement had begun in earnest back in 2022. The crowning moment of that match had been an astounding fourth-innings run-chase. Where better for one last mass?
He swiped, slogged and occasionally savaged, under the guise of scoring 'easier' runs against the new ball given how this pitch is playing. Instead, his 30 off 20 balls created a febrile storm that swept up Jacob Bethell, Harry Brook and Ben Duckett. Emilio Gay, in his third cap, was shunted from opening to No.6, from where he was required to appear, on a pair, with five minutes' of the day remaining. He will resume on Monday with England four-down and with a further 270 required. The chaos Stokes sought to create was only endured by the one team he is there to protect.
How can it be that a man who could conjure brilliance for others had to artificially concoct a narrative around himself? What does it say of the situation around him? How have we got to a stage where Stokes has been run down in a relaxed environment aimed at promoting authenticity?
When Brendon McCullum spoke of his "worry" for Stokes ahead of second Test - which the England captain missed following his breach of a midnight curfew that he had endorsed - this might have been what the head coach was talking about. A series that looked set to be England's first success since the end of 2024 is on the verge of being spurned.
Stokes' captaincy tenure began in 2022 with a call for 10 selfless cricketers. It ended with Stokes at his most selfish. He told the dressing-room, ahead of the day's play, that this was it, and referenced previous trips to the well that have broken him physical and mentally in one last rallying cry. "I've got one more trip to do," he said, before looking in the eyes of his team-mates and asking them to join him. Little did they know he would be taking them off the cliff.
"Clearly an orchestrated spell," is how former England captain Michael Atherton called it live on Sky Sports, as Stokes began that 11th over. News of his retirement had already hit the stands. The crowd rose to their feet for a standing ovation that exploded as Stokes found Zak Foulkes' edge through to Harry Brook at second slip.
Orchestration takes many forms, and Stokes' retirement is no different. He came to the decision after the first Test at Lord's, having arrived in that week unsure whether he could keep his body and game intact for the rigours of, not just Test cricket, but how he chooses to approach it.
There were also doubts about whether he could take this team any further. This had been underlined by his distrust in their capabilities, during a chastening Ashes in which some of the players' immaturity came to the fore, on and off the field. It is no secret that he grew impatient with them, and that he questioned his love for the game and his part in all of it, while in Australia. The Lord's Test confirmed to him that the home dressing-room no longer felt like sanctuary.
Victory at Lord's gave Stokes an excuse to go hard into the night after months of graft. But the ill-fated jaunt beyond the dressing-room and into Rex Rooms was the catalyst rather than the cause.
In its immediate aftermath, the ECB were scrabbling around to ascertain the nature of Stokes' post-midnight antics with Gus Atkinson, but by Tuesday they were reduced to watching social media, waiting with trepidation for Stokes' announcement of retirement via Instagram. The governing body were reported to have considered heading up to Durham to present a collaborative front, which Stokes rebuffed. Rob Key eventually made that journey to the north-east last week.
The allrounder's mind was made up. A select few close friends and family were told and sworn to secrecy, particularly as media reports swelled in the 15 days between the end of the Lord's Test and the completion of twin investigations from the ECB and The Cricket Regulator. Many of those same friends and family are in attendance here in a hospitality box at Trent Bridge, having known for the best part of two weeks what was coming.
Plenty of this is hard to square. Not necessarily "why now?" because we know those reasons. His all-round powers have waned, particularly his batting. The captaincy sauce has run dry, with England heading for their eighth defeat in 14 Tests since the start of last summer, alongside just five wins. To continue to dig deep in games, he's had to dig deeper around them. And there remain questions about how badly he has been affected by the facial injury he sustained during nets with Durham's Academy, which ruled him out of competitive cricket until May.
The clutch moments stalled with Stokes' 2023 Lord's century against Australia, which - though mighty - was ultimately in vain. Partly this was because of the inability of a much-changed cast around him to get to those moments. It speaks of where we are now that, despite Stokes' unabashed efforts to own the day, it ultimately belonged to Daryl Mitchell, who unfurled one of the great modern-day Test centuries. It was fitting, too, that Mitchell took the catch to dismiss Stokes, as New Zealand closed the day in a position of utter dominance, and yet his performance barely warrants a footnote.
But "why like this?" Stokes never used to be about the pageantry. Even as a captain, he refused photo opportunities in his blazer because he thought it was elitist, and in the spring of 2022, he ensured his unveiling happened at his "boyhood club" of Durham, rather than in the Long Room at Lord's. He even hates the posh twang in his voice which has become the norm for his media engagements. He hated the idea of being institutionalised.
It is that thread that he pulled on today, and will continue to do so, as all of this unravels. He channelled all of the most grizzled aspects of his legacy - the long spells, the brutal thwacking, the sense of timing - into a dig at the ECB suits. They have changed plenty during his time, but his lingering distrust for them has not. It picked up over the last two weeks with the feeling that, yet again, he did not have their backing.
The irony is that, for the most part, they have been in his corner. On the occasions Stokes has felt they were against him, whether this recent indiscretion or the Bristol street fight in 2017, it was often his fault.
The fall-out from what may come is vast. The public will demand answers as to why, of the three who survived the Ashes review, Stokes - the safest, and the bringer of the most high-octane joy they've had for generations - has been the first to fall. The spotlight is on Key and McCullum now, who must go on. And ECB head honchos Richard Gould and Richard Thompson. Stokes' actions have ramped up the appetite for regime change.
The aspect that may linger on his conscience is that Stokes' team-mates will feel the negative effects of this, too. Joe Root, a lifelong friend, may have to return as captain in a full-time role. That he did so at The Kia Oval - suffering a 27th defeat - drew him back to a bad time in his career he wanted to forget, and Stokes' public apology for putting him in that position was telling.
Brook, groomed as the main successor, may have to step up, should Root not take the reins, despite clearly wanting to focus purely on turning around his form with the bat. A wild 21 off just nine deliveries now makes it 16 innings without a Test century, the longest stretch of his career.
A side refreshed going into the 2024 summer, and tweaked at the start of this one, will now be further exposed. They have been reared by a man whose faith was meant to be ironclad, who has now fled the burning building. He was supposed to see them through to the promised land at the end of next summer. He hasn't even made it to this July.
The England dressing-room stopped being Stokes' place at the turn of the Ashes, particularly with McCullum keen to get a tighter grip on its running. After a strong first two years as captain, the loss of his closest - and oldest - companions was accompanied by a rise in the role's stresses. It all led Stokes to disbelieve. It was on this day that he tried to remember what it was to be a believer, and those who followed his approach with the bat were willing, one last time, to be his disciples.
Stokes will be remembered by every one of the 78 Test cricketers that he played with. By all of the opponents he rustled, and those that he didn't. He'll be remembered by all of the fans, especially those here, who have never vibed with his lunacy more than right now. And he will be remembered as a cricketer who produced truly astounding moments.
Including this one, right here. The day he decided this last moment would be for himself, and he torched the church that he built as a haven, because it had become a haven for him no more.