New Zealand 391 (Phillips 101, Blundell 51, Bethell 3-26) and 362 (Nicholls 121, Ravindra 76, Mitchell 68) beat England 291 (Gay 53, Fisher 50*, Henry 5-80) and 209 (Root 75*, Brook 54, Jamieson 3-37) by 253 runs
There was to be no England miracle at The Oval. Which is probably what you get for leaving out Ben Stokes. Returning on day five needing the interim captain, Joe Root, to bail them out in a theoretical chase of 463, they lasted barely an hour, Matt Henry bagging an 11-wicket haul and career-best figures as New Zealand stormed to a series-levelling win.
England already seemed to have conceded their folly, announcing on Sunday morning that Stokes and Gus Atkinson had been withdrawn from County Championship games for Durham and Surrey respectively, with the results of twin investigations into their post-Lord's night out due. Brendon McCullum later confirmed that Stokes would return at Trent Bridge next week, for what now shapes as a series decider.
Though England's chances of knocking off a further 281 runs on the final day with only five wickets standing were always remote, the margin of victory duly reflected how New Zealand wrested control of this Test across days two, three and four. This was only their seventh Test win against England in England, and their third this century - but few have been as dominant. That it came in the immediate aftermath of Kane Williamson's abrupt retirement only added to achievement.
Henry, who had never recorded a five-wicket haul in ten previous Test appearances against England, was once again immaculate - finishing the game single-handedly with a spell of 6.1-3-4-5. The Oval crowd were still settling into their seats when he nibbled one past Root's defensive push to effectively end the contest eight minutes into the morning session. Before the clock had reached 11.30am, he had been engulfed by his team-mates after taking his 10th of the match. All but two of his dismissals had come with the keeper up to the stumps.
Both teams had returned to The Oval with the ground basking in sunshine, amid weather warnings around the UK for extreme temperatures. That was unlikely to be matched by the action on field, after England's tepid showing throughout this Test had left them tasked them with a world record run chase.
Any slim hopes rested on Root's shoulders - a familiar scenario, but further complicated by his return to captaincy after a gap of more than four years. With this subsequently confirmed as a one-match hospital pass, it further dented his record for England defeats while in charge (27), now equal to his number of wins.
He resumed on 75 not out, with perhaps the crowd's main prospect for enjoying the day being a potential Root Test hundred No. 42. But he only managed to add two runs to his tally before Henry beat his bat on the inside for a straightforward lbw decision. Root, once again anchored in the crease by the presence of Tom Blundell standing up to the stumps, reviewed in vain to be met with three reds on ball-tracking.
Henry picked up his third of the innings, having also extracted the dangerous Harry Brook on the fourth evening, when Jofra Archer was castled second ball by one that kept low. Matt Fisher could not add to his heroics with the bat from the first innings, chopping on against Henry for a duck - this time with the keeper back - and Josh Tongue went first ball, pushing forward to edge a delivery of perfect length straight to second slip.
The only thing that remained was for Jordan Cox, one of England's three debutants, to try to have a bit of fun. A ramp for four off Kyle Jamieson was followed by Cox wiping the same bowler over long-on for six, before he became Henry's sixth victim, bowled behind his legs attempting to sweep. So dismal was the capitulation that Surrey offered all ticket-holders a 50% refund - a rare moment for the crowd to cheer.
