The good news for the ECB is that after such a grueling first day of this third Test, there is no chance any of this England XI will be up past midnight.
On one of those rare days of such taxing graft that it makes you appreciate not being an international athlete, England expended everything they had. And for the most part, it was nowhere near enough.
Through New Zealand openers Devon Conway and Tom Latham, England were on course for one of their worst, wicketless days on record. Both openers had bagged their 150s after dog-walking England through a sunburned Thursday in Nottingham.
The turn came in the final 75 minutes of play. Both were seen off, followed by the back-to-back dismissals of Rachin Ravindra and Henry Nicholls to add some surprise gloss on what was trending towards a truly grim restart of this England side's botched refresh. New Zealand's stumps score of 361 for 4 is far better than England could have hoped for. It is also the most they have conceded on any opening day of a Test match since going for a run more against South Africa in 2003.
The collapse of 4 for 44 was a cool breeze for an England whose boutique hotel's air conditioning has been on the blink since they checked in on Monday. They would have been praying for the sanctity of those sweatboxes at various points of the kind of day they needed the least after the recent lurch into crisis.
So much of the last two weeks has been about anything but matters on the field. On a ground where they have set records and launched white-ball revolutions and red-ball cults, Ben Stokes arrived here looking to make a statement upon his return as captain. This, for large parts, was not it.
Even the punters spent most of the day wondering what they had paid for. While 32-degree heat sounds run of the mill for a global summer sport, the clouds were clear and the sun as rampant as the visiting openers atop largely uncovered seats. Having been wowed here in 2022 by a remarkable run chase inspired by Jonny Bairstow - a sight witnessed for free as Trent Bridge threw open its doors for that final day - they were stung on all fronts. On their skin, in their wallets and by news coming through that East Midlands Railways services were being kiboshed by the heat. Even their late joy was skewered when the umpires called a premature stumps at 6.28pm.
At 12.25pm, those fans stirred with a rousing ovation when Stokes brought himself himself on to bowl, with New Zealand 88 for 0 after 23 overs. The decibels were matched five hours later when Stokes finally put England on the board, breaking the opening stand of 317 with the dismissal of his opposite number Latham. Those relieved cheers contained plenty of sarcasm, mixed with Stokes' guttural roars and expletives.
Stokes sent down 13 overs but felt all of Thursday's 84.1. At one point, he even took on the role of steward, charging to the members' seating at the Stuart Broad End when a punter had seemingly distracted Conway with their fan.
There would undoubtedly be relief for Stokes that he was back out there at all having been left "frustrated" by the process to determine the events of his late night out with Gus Atkinson after the Lord's Test and the ramifications of breaking a previous ad hoc midnight curfew he himself brought to the table.
Even without the late flurry of wickets, Stokes may have taken a twisted satisfaction in the aches and pains of having his face pushed into the dirt after losing the toss on this pitch. He had wondered on the eve of the match if his role as an allrounder, without the captaincy, could satisfy his wants. Feeling something, even pain, may have undertones of relief after a fortnight of limbo wondering if he would ever be exposed to the game's emotions again.
That's how long resolution took. The ECB insists its process was swift, with the Cricket Regulator's investigation expedited. What Stokes would have given for those powers here, to simulate New Zealand's first innings to its conclusion, no matter how big a bill there was to pay at the end of it. That may yet come. Even with the late strikes, and the loss of Glenn Phillips on the morning to the match, there is plenty of this road for the visitors to exploit.
For the majority of these first three sessions, England were admirable if ineffective. The scorecard will not tell you that they bowled well, but they stuck at their task ably.
Atkinson's pace was up in the high 80s off the back of being stood down for the second Test with Stokes, meaning he did not have to go back-to-back. Shoaib Bashir was able to get early bite off the surface with his first overs since last year's Lord's Test against India, when his last ball in the format squirreled between Mohammed Siraj's legs and onto the stumps for victory.
Bashir and Atkinson indirectly combined for one of England's two late wickets at Trent Bridge. Bashir's gutsy boundary fielding saved a run that put Ravindra on strike. A ball later, Bashir was swamped by his team-mates as Ravindra inexplicably skied Atkinson to Smith.
Maybe it was the heat, but it was moment of unhinged joy for all involved, particularly Stokes, who charged at Bashir as if he was going to scoop him up and carry him into the horizon. That energy was channeled by the crowd and Jofra Archer who capped a stiff-looking 12 overs with the day's best to dismiss Nicholls, a centurion at the Kia Oval, with one that leapt off the surface and jagged through to Smith via the edge.
Unused on a seamers-only pitch at Lord's for the first Test after a no-show in the Ashes, this was a nourishing day out for Bashir. Even in barren, unforgiving climes, he relished the run around. The novelty of all this is not lost on the offspinner, even though he struggled overall with ball in hand.
Brought in the 11th over - the earliest England have introduced a spinner in the first innings of men's home Test since 2008, when Monty Panesar was handed the 10th against New Zealand at Old Trafford - he found turn and dip, though not always at the same time, and certainly not in his second half. His first 11 overs produced figures of 0 for 31 before 0 for 66 from the next 11, as Conway upped his tempo upon reaching three figures, profiting off long hops on both sides of the stumps.
Naturally in temperatures like this, errors were plentiful, and some of them well-meaning. As early as the sixth over, Stokes shifted Ben Duckett out of third slip and into a second gully position, next to Jacob Bethell. Latham edged the very next delivery beyond a diving Harry Brook from second slip, to where Duckett had been.
There was lethargy in the field, a big no-no in Brendon McCullum's sides, long before any curfew. After Conway had launched Bashir over his head for four, there was a delay in retrieving the ball as both Stokes (mid-off) and Archer (mid-on) bowed their heads. The latter belatedly hurried for the ball after Root began a pointed sprint from cover point.
That best sums up the feeling when it seemed like the first-wicket stand would not be broken - even Root was ticking. The mood dropped further when Smith did the same to Latham, on 129. A regulation take down the leg side off a gloved short ball ricocheted off the heel of Smith's right palm.
Luckily for Smith, it did not end up costing much, and two catches to finish will no doubt aid his sleep (if any was needed). In the fullness of time, England's late fightback may come to have far-reaching consequences for plenty of others, including those higher up the chain.
For now, England are just about still in what is the most important Test of the McCullum-Stokes era having battled throughout the day, and then battling effectively as it drew to a close.
Panned for unnecessary late endeavours, these were ones to savour.